**sigh**

Master,

pet was doing so well without Darvocet. Her back began to hurt horribly today.

pet took some.

pet was doing so very well...her head was clear and this morning was one of the first times in the last 5 years that pet didn't feel like she needed it.

Tomorrow is another day...she will overcome this back issue...she had been off of it for so long and was actually impressed out how clear headed she was...pet hardly even had too much pain the last few days...until today. pet picked up some things wrong at the hospital...then that's when it got bad.

Master, pet is missing you so very much. The text yesterday she keep re-reading. "Gorgeous pet"...that is what sticks in her mind. pet doesn't see herself as gorgeous...but let me tell you...at the party on Thursday she sure as heck will. pet's dress is crazy pretty and pet truly believes it is something you would really enjoy.

pet was super busy checking off the various tasks on her list of things to do...pet has yet to walk...or do her media arts...she has only taken photos using her new phone...the pool is too cold to swim in...pet will take her camera with her and see about getting some portraits of her dear friend and her children. They are visiting from NJ.

pet also sat at a Starbucks...and wrote to you in the leather journal. pet hopes you enjoy both. pet does however understand that your time is most precious...and you may not have a lot of time to read either very soon.

Now onto what pet has been reading. pet's list of questions for you seems to grow and grow...

Today the things that are first and foremost are some the basic D/s relationship things.

When pet has her collar bestowed upon her...will that signify that you are firstly my Master...but that pet belongs to only you? pet's understanding of much of the reading she has been doing is that seems to be the main theme for lack of a better term. Perhaps this is why Master emphasized to pet that she must find BALANCE between her worlds. Master knows and understands that pet is married...but also knows that she wishes to be belong to her Master...YOU. pet longs for her collar...to be owned by Master.

D/s monogamy seemingly is monogamy that goes against the grain of traditional monogamy. D/s monogamy appears to mean that the person will have vanilla sex with their life partner but he/she engages in D/s activities with others. This particular definition is one that is ringing true for pet. Vanilla sex with hubby, but D/s with Master.

pet wishes to belong, to be accepted, to be loved, cherished...to be bonded to another in a way that no other can be. pet does understand that Master can most surely find more subs and even create a harem for himself...this isn't anything that bothers me...so long as Master takes care of pet in her D/s life...acceptance of all other things seems to come second nature. pet doesn't want to think about what happens in the D/s world...she wants Master to control that aspect.

pet is noticing that with the changing times, D/s is no longer what is once was. Did you know that the National Organization of Women is against D/s...well at least in the 80's...evidently the thought was that D/s is so far against feminist views...well pet has an understanding that being a submissive doesn't in any way have an adverse impact on her feminist life. Master knows pet owns her own business and in her relationship with dh...she is the boss. pet has read that there are many subs out there that have the same life as she.

pet believes that Master taking the time to train her as his sub will actually heighten her feminism. Feminism has dictated that women should BE a certain way and do this a certain way...be successful, be the boss, do your own thing...but Master is teaching her HOW to be these things...Feminism says that pet must be a strong woman and have control over her own life...but without instructions on doing so.

Master is patiently showing her.

Thank you Master for taking such time to do this for pet. This alone tells pet that she will not just be a toy...or part of sadistic game he wants to play...but something even more special. Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Master knows in just the short time he has taken on pet...Master was already changing her life...he continues to do so...even in his absence.

pet's heart aches for her Master...

pet will be stronger when Master returns...

pet will adore Master even more than she thought possible...even if only for the valuable lessons he is sharing with pet. pet understands Master is doing this out of respect for her...and for the love of her and the woman she is yet to become.

pet will dream of you...

Song of the day: She Got Her Own, Jamie Foxx/Ne-Yo