Lost in Interpretation

pet is amused that she can spiral so out of control over an interpretation of a slight action or even words in text. pet doesn't mean that in a good way either. It's rather unfortunate.

If there is one thing that pet must learn in anything of recent, it is that she must trust her Master. No this doesn't mean blindly just believing anything. Some things are irrefutable such as the sky being blue. Were Master to tell pet that it was any other color, she would not just say, "Yes Master, you are right."

There is a delicate place that pet loves to teeter on it seems. Rather often too.

Does she follow where her heart and mind lead? Does she follow where the fear is leading? What I mean by fear...is something my mom told me once...F E A R. This having a meaning of False Evidence Appearing Real. pet evidently is scared to just BE with her Master. It's a never ending struggle for her to just BE with you. There are so many reasons not to. None of which Master has given pet. Master has been the one man who has given her the freedom to just be the wonderful woman she is. pet doesn't have to DO anything to except be her exceptional self. Her past has always dictated where she should go and who she should go with. Her past experiences and past hurts have brought her from one relationship to the next. Each one unhealthier than the one before. So, for pet to carry all that baggage and lay it at Master's feet and overcome the terrified feeling that this again will result in a broken heart is not fair to the relationship.

Master, you are unlike anyone pet has encountered. pet has never willingly surrendered anything to anyone ever. This makes her to feel most vulnerable. This may very well be inevitable.

While so many in the fet community look upon (sometimes down) on our relationship as nothing that either of us should really be considering, it is my thought that while their concern may have it's validity in another context, where you and I are involved, it should not interfere with our relationship. pet seems to be the only one with the problem here.

At your behest, pet has put herself out there to be seen, to experience, to see, and to be involved. pet has also immersed herself in books. So many books. So much incredibly valuable sources of information.

Some think there is no relationship. We both know what our external obligations are, they don't need to be reiterated here to be fetlife fodder for tomorrows fetter to delight in.

Others think that pet is far too new to the scene...her Master too young.

Hmmm

Too young, too old, too new, too whatever...Must everything have a title or name? Can two consenting adults just have a relationship? Isn't the fet community supposed to be one that embraces those differences without prejudice?

I believe that it is entirely possible that a relationship with us can work very well. However, once the BDSM is introduced in said relationship, things evolve into something deeper. Something all together more profound.

What happens when the student surpasses the teacher in knowledge of a certain subject? Does the dynamic automatically change?

Perhaps it does in many instances since there is an imbalance of sorts.

For instance, if pet's understanding of a D/s relationship is "x" and there are expectations of each person then if one isn't aware of or doesn't know or their understanding is "y", what happens then? Wouldn't that be similar to me taking the time to teach dh to top her when he knows nothing of the BDSM culture or the dynamic of a D/s relationship?

What pet seeks in the D/s relationship, the adoration, pride, respect, and love that she has already experienced thus far. She longs for more, but that will come in time. pet has to be patient. Solid relationships that withstand gossip, lies, and innuendo are not built over night.

*~*~*

I do wish to experience that energy exchange we had during play. That exchange of power, the feeling of euphoria, that tenderness when we were done...all so very thrilling. It was exciting, wonderful, delicious, palpable...has me longing for more.